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Friday, November 13, 2009

hurt so much.....:(

a long time to 'hibernated' here in my own home at sandakan...just get back from shah alam yesterday... im sorry, a 'busy bee' always do its job, to make my situation un-systemated, dont have times to put a words in here..now, got time, got story, got everything ....

after the extremely hardest part of my courses, for this semester, really bad to call it as a manipulator for higher CGPA,arggh.. doesnt make any proud things to called as a best graders... my though...but i always try my best, (typical word....sigh*)

but the thing that i hate bout my attribute for this life, especially my 6 months trial for this semester, i didnt attend for the CTU paper....adduuss...., never mind, anything has the reason...Only God knows why....

while im here, at my hometown, the first thought came out when i was landed, just to find my mom and hug her, definitely im missing her so much.....second my dad,..and the rest would be my family...duhh...

but the most highest level on my thinking was a person who really make my heart and brain wrote h** name on my imagination, i dont know,....just h** running the engine of my feeling, never written on any other names....just h**,....thats the reason why i came back..but not to meet h**, just to feel near, thats it..

people especially friends, thought that i was crazy by waiting on the reply of h** love....i always put myself to step on the reality, never put myself into fantasy, i know that...but feelings cannot remain normal as people out there, trying to change and just it,...

sad song always flew its melody, lingering to my ears, playing the love song, never against on it, cos i know it will heal my heart,.when i cry, it make me feel better...yaa, and i know, cry will not put h** to be stand in front of me feel the same way to,it will not happen..

but ill pray for h**, with all my heart, hope everything h* do, every path of h** life will be better without me by h** side....

love you....

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