mantan

bukan aku yang berani melepas jalan itu,

walau pernah ku lalui tempat itu,

dan masuk ke rumah mu.

walau lama waktu dulu masih girang dimuka ku 

pernah sekali tangan mengetuk,

pintu putih terakhir kali,

wajah mu sayu walau maaf ku sambut,

tetap ku gagahi kembalikan dengan takut

takut sahaja ku gugur disitu,

walau kau kuat untuk tampung beratnya

masih ku ukir senyuman itu, 

untuk terakhir kalinya

lantas kaki melepas setapak,

setapak pergi melihat kebelakang

walau hanya pada waktu terjarak

tetap jua memori dalam kenangan

selamat hidup wahai mantan

senyum

kalau ini penghujung cerita....

~kalau daun bisa gugur bila patah cabang pokok, bukan itu pnyebabnya... pasti daun sudah perang kemerahan tidak bernafas lagi...~

setiap manusia punya perasaan, walau dia anggap dirinya berkuasa terhadap perasaannya, tetapkan luruh, ,melara, akibat luaran persekitarannya...

aku tahu bukan aku pertama, dia bukan yang kedua, mungkin sekali tiada tangga pun harus ku duduki, aku mengangkat mu amat jauh disudut pandang ku.....

aku tahu tangan bertepuk sendiri tidak ada bunyi kalau hanya satu tangan bekerja...

hanya segelintir sahaja dimatamu kau jaga, namun bukan aku dikelompoknya....

satu ku mohon, moga kau bahagia....

ku cuma disini...

Setiap kali ku fikir, ini saja jalan yang ku ada... ku harap apa yang menerpa kan ku jalani segalanya dengan hati terbuka....

unsuccesful.....(T T)

just wanna cry right now....

banjir sandakan 2011

banjir sandakan datang lagi....kali ini lagi dasyat...heheh.....

ni video nya:




ni waktu malam....

ni tadi, 29/1/2011

nobody read my blog! hahah

never mind...since ive change the setting to no body can give a comment, got nobody around to put some words, all of this coz of those spam, thats why I change it....

awkward feeling, mix and tangle around my round yellow ring above my head, sigh.. when will this matter will end, okay, like what ive been post a month ago, about UMS e-jobs, regarding to its test need to be done before I sit for the real interview, yeah, ive been done it... about 3 weeks ago, 3WEEKS AGO!! until now, there is no answer to my interview... OMG, its too long to wait,,...

last Wednesday, for not loosing a second, ill try to get some other interview, which work as a hotelier, yeaaaah, HOTELIER..

I know, sometimes we cant choose for what ever we need to find a good job, either its in govt or private, just take it....

I live here in Sandakan, if any body cant tell me where is Sandakan is, rise your hand????? ill show you the map.... :
in this town is too far to west part, coz its the easter in a map of Malaysia.....but here, i want to tell something, I was just grad from my degree in hotel management... DEGREE....so everybody, especially parents and your neighbour will think that we gonna gain high salary bcoz of we have degree, but, in Sandakan, almost of all corporate company will not pay you,looking on the achievement, they will pay you regard to your experience through the industry...

and a lot of different to compare if we work in hotel, in KUALA LUMPUR, the heart of Malaysia, the bussiest city in MALAYSIA... if a person got degree in hands, at least, 1500 will get pay and most higher than that...

but, here, in my hometown, between 750-1000.....what things can live with that??

but..... when i think about it again, people do that because they really want us to know the ambiance, to know the real situation while working in a reality life.....

but then, again, its too low....... yes, I will to gain for what it takes, for sure, people wanted more than 1000, thats is because, a heart of a son, who gamble a lot of money during his studied in getting for a scroll, money, time, all count, 3 years diploma, 3 years for degree,, 6 in total, ,.......sigh


im too old to wait any longer...

but,again.... God knows my best , everything does it miracle, just wait and see...

till then, I need money....sigh again...

a new entryy!!~ sorry took time to give some input....:P

halllloooooo!!~ as people know, I'm still got no job to work on... but, a plenty progress as there called as the "interview", been done for few of it, but still got nothing with it...(apa aku merepek)....

okay... lets get something to talk..... here, i show some awkward thing lives in our living room....

hehehehe

1)ashtray bertulang...hehehehthis thing, we bought while we in kk, 3 of us, my mom, my sister and I, went to kk, becoz of Im having a test to get an interview,. ... still waiting for the result... wish me luck,.... and when I saw this thingy' front of me, I took it, and bought just for my two brothers....who die hard fan for smoking.... but, they never use it, coz its 'beautiful' to ruin it...hehehehe....

2)blue ghoaty !
okay...... this thing similar to a ballon, fill with air, and this thing has been bought by my brother family in law, the time that they has slept for 2 weeks at their home, and this been a giant decor to our living room.... before, this has been used by my little nephew to run and jump, and kill each other, but then, when a new things come arrived, the old thing become an archive.....pity little goaty....heheheheh.....

now, there is a lot of thing actually.... but will update soon.....tarraaaaa!!~

finally got it!!!! resultt!!!~

amazingly this last semester just different to other period, you know that this is the answer of am I getting to grad on time??? does it feel to be proud on what I do for 3 years?? yes! I proud for what I've been done for the last semester.... but the CGPA doesn't look good for me.... oh my... btw, it's done... I'm finally graduate on time...... Thank You Allah,..... Thank you for the bless... my dad and mom, I know,I'm the one who spent a lot for the expenses in this 3 years... degrees in my hand! I just need to pray for what I'm going to do in a future.. and to my family, brothers and sisters.... hope this will be a start of our new life in rich and famous...hahahaha... nada dduit.....uwaaahh!~

ok, just for sure, i really wanted to work as govern server.., hoping for what I waited for so long, it'll come to me soon as possible.....pray for me guys......

aku sahaja belum keja.....:(

ok... aku belum keja.... susah nya cari keja, bila dapat keja, not fit with my desire...haha.. bkn memilih, tapi cara nak pgi keja tu susah sangat...

hope to seek more opportunity.... sigh*

permohonan UMS!!!

Yes definitely im thrilled wheen i was saw the statement that I will sit for the test of psychometric... but until now there is no feedback, when I will do for the test, since that the statement only show this:

lama sangat2 aku tunggu tuk dipanggil....ok, ive already try to call the person who incharge for the recruitment, Mr. Kelvin, and I try it a lot, almost a day, no body pickup the phone, since this is one of the only connection to seek the answer, and no answer for my Q, how am i going to do??? pleassseee...someon who really know about on how to seek the answer...please pm me.... :)

step up 3 ost song who you are; jessie j cornish

love itt!!! i jusst heard this song for the premier edition, it just a half of the song, but I dindt know whos the singer,. when I google it, and found this video in youtube, feeling good to this song...enjoy!




who you are jessie james cornish

I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself
Losing my mind on a tiny error
I nearly left the real me on the shelf
No, no, no, no

Don't loose it all in the blur of the start
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard
to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing
everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are

(Who you are, who you are, who you are x4)

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould
The more I try, the less it's working
'cos everything inside me screams: no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Don't loose it all in the blur of the start
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing
everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are

Yes, Nos, egos
fake shows like BOOM
Just go, and leave me alone
Real talk, real life, good luck, good night
With a smile...
That's my home, yeah
That's my home...

(Bridge)

No, no, no, no, no...
Don't loose it all in the blur of the start
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing
everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are

Yeah, Yeah....
(Credit bitureexpress)

lamanya tidak post something!~

Assalamualaikum... pertama ....Selamat berpuasa bloggers... really busy and no interent access for a long time... seriously, I can't live without technologgy...

Puasa...fasting month is really enjoy for having a good and peace live... its motivate us to make something that doesn't realte to a sin.... (tapi aku buat juga)... malu.**

anyway, susah nak jauhkan dosa...lebih2 lagi bila its being our daily routine to do it.. aiyakkk!~.. tapikan, puasa tidak tinggal tau... full of chargee!~ never ever try to eat during fasting period.. nice to your body nice to others... kannn???

23 days... during this post... tidak lama lagi nak raya.... hopefully what my friends and family plan to do flow follow the path... ??? hehe.. english,its really hard though....!

hari rayaaaaaaa!~ here we come..?? kami datang or the month will lead?? I dont know... huhuhuh

K la... without picture..

but, picture express a thousand word kan??? tdak apa la.. my word is focus on something to what I really express about.. so dont mind yaa..

next post will be...

first of all....

tanx for the spam who really obsessed to my post ... geram banar ei,... can someone teach me on how to make captcha comment???

ok ... skang ni, mmg banyak dugaan ,....a lot of wall need to timber before on the due date.. aiyakk.....

bila la aku ni dapat kehidupan yang all human in this earth really2 dream on?? but measure on that, not all people can have it.,, God made us in a different aspect, such....ada kaya, miskin, comel (me), huduh (ponggong aku), hehe... and banyak lagi.. such a variation of life has made this life more beautiful and colorful like the color of rainbow... wahh..

I know, my things still undone, but, I really hope that it will be the successful ever to get something yang dari drop of my sweat....yaiksss... hehe

every day, always be something yang do people say, " every day a new beginning... ".. jadi kalu benda tak jadi semalam, jadi baru juga tuk ari ni????....sometimes, words just made us feel really happy on what we're not going to catch..

kamu paham ka??? are u with me???heheeh....ntah la apa aku cakap ni...


but ,anyway, feel happy on the road where I'm rite now....

but make sure moey, you're in danger zone...always....sigh*

keep up the good work moey......

happy or sad.....

its grumbling right now...xtaw nak feel apa... happy jmpa kawan2 yg skang ni, atau sedih tiggalkan segalanya di sandakan..... :(

both of it kot????

ntah la....

xoxox

bila cinta ilang power...

do I belive in love right now?? mgkin... tah la..malas pikir, tp klu terlintas, sana la tu yg sakit ny...

tapi apa kan daya,.. klu aku ni ditakdir tiada cinta yg mana maksud aku selain ,cinta ku kepada Allah, cinta ku kepada Rasulullah S.W.T, cinta kepada Ibu Bapa ku,...

Apa bole buat.......

if I meant to be alone, nobody care bout myself, to take care of my heart, heal me anytime that I sad..., i'll be cool., chill,....

sometimes, I talk to my cat, becoz beside my bestest friends (kamu tau la tu sapakn), I always talk about love, about someone to my cats.... (ive got 10 counselor to heal me)...heheh

I love them... my catss mostly....

becos they really know on how they reply back on what I said.... cakar aku!.... hehee.. dah banyak parut dah kat tangan...

till then... another diary posted to everyone of you..... mwaaxxx..kiss kiss.....**

perlukah.......... :(

"jaga kesihatan aa..., jgn nakal2 taw".... "jgn pegi sana.... ayang tak suka"... "siapa call tu?",,.....

banyak lagi ungkapan sayang kepada si sayang.... walaupun nada yang marah, merajuk, tapi semua tu tanda sayang..it still can be one of the alternative way to show how exactly you care to your beloved...

"kalau sayang x mau sdh, okay...kita buat haluan masing2".... kenapa perlu mengalah?? kalau kita sayang sangat, mana kekuatan tu??? where is your courage when you spell it out on the beginning of the relationship with him/her??..... putus asa sebab perkara yang hanya disebabkan kelemahan berkata2...

aku berkata2 bukan sebab aku ni ada couple or anyone that really special... but, tgk sekeliling aku semua nya cintan cintun, so aku ambik la sikit2...

why fight always occurred in relationship??? bcoz it one of the reason that on how or to show why you love them.. (really???).....

ntah la... tapi apa bole buat, klu sudah begaduh, panjang betul gaduhan itew, sorang mesti la jadi air ,... siram api tu, klu tanah ,kena siram supaya nda smpi kering kena cahaya matahari....

hehe..." sedangkan cinta situ sana sini berputik, ku melangkah merapuh kan sendiri laluan sempit itu, agar ku jauh sedikit dari pohon yang berdaun lebat.. mungkin tiada harapan ku dekat, kerna duri-duri sudah mula mencakar pernafasan sekelilingnya"....


hanya pastikan jalan ini tidak sesat dan dimakan waktu yang hanya seketika, dapat kah ku lari dari cengkaman fantasi yang sendiri ku memakan diri....

I'm not into facebook right now to espress my feeling...

people always shoot their words towards facebook.., aku pun... seriously, like every thought, every feelings, every reaction to the situation, drag me to put a sentences to the box of comment, provided by the admin.. yaa...

but now, entah la....like its a stop period for me to do that on facebook.....maybe because I'm in hometown right now, and my sibling just around my waist..ehehe.. easy for them to laugh on what I post on facebook... yaaaa...like almost of the sentence aka quote, all about love....and you know what... adik2 saya always put a big Lol commented through the sentences I post... :P

so....now, let me express it here.......like.... MOYEDIN ABDULLAH is I'm freakin Miss ***........ :(

Okay..... i feel bad,... but...

now I know where is my part for the hierarchy for the list of 'heart loyalty'....(buat sendiri)..hehe..
biarlah,, i just leave it just like that... people always say, one day, you'll come with some one who love you more than you expected... (sapa cakap tu aaa??)..hehehe...





anyway, sapa suka tgk GLEE???? OMG.... I always wanted the complete series of the musical drama,.... seriously, sapa ada????
If there's any DVD complete with chapter 1 and 2, pleaseee... someone show me, or give it as a present??? (blinking eyes)* wink2...hehe


surely people who had it, must from downloading,...anyone dare to teach me HOW????? hehehe....

pleaseeee.......

now, let me story something... hehe., semalam pegi wedding one of our friends sister, at karamunting... search in google map, ada tu...hehe

tapi tidak sempat pula mau jumpa pengantin lelaki, .... well, unlucky....

but, we do pray for your best, hopefully this marriage just not for a short term period, hoping this is the mosque that standing forever and ever...haha.. (napa aku makin budu BI ni?)..heheheh
NooWWw... the season of world cup is on!! im not so obsess to futball, but the impact of this world cup season is tremendously change the ambiance, every time of the hatric (woww, hatric ka??)..haha... mesti ada yang shout kuat2.....abang aku lah tu.. before this, Euro league kan ada main??? btul kan??? hehe.., kawan yang bagitau, chelsea ka yang menang??? ntah la.. hehe, but, compare to world cup, people who not watching the euro league tiba2 muncul,sama2 teriak to every goal they shoot....hehe, ntah la... maybe world cup does have it own quality,..maybe..

soo., which country will be the champion for this season!!!??? entah la... hehehe...we'll see....

its really hurt...... :((((((((

I'm not like what you thinking!!!!...... I'm not that tough to handle on this kind of situation that you've brought to me... why the sadden must shown during my rehab to forget you... ????

should I keep thinking about you, or just forget it????? do you think it easy enough to forget you????haaaaa?????

this kind of bullshi* just nothing to do except ruin my life,... why I always has to be the victim?? for you I was nothing to look or heard, or even knew about my life, even me alive or dead, you just do nothing.....

I just crying a lot,..... but why should I????does it clear *** vision to know my situation????? shi*.............

I'm a dumb-es person who ever show up into your life,kannnn?????......

:(


(semua di atas ayat paling bodoh).......... :(