I felt looser, down without love...

I know something bothering me lately,
Because of what I've been through,
sigh it felt with misery,
such things always happen to me..

I know God send someone that will love me,
but till then nobody's around,
loving me like they love their part,
maybe someday..

I'll always wait....

bila rasa ini akan berhenti

sebelum ini, aku rasa semuanya akan berhenti., akan padam....rupanya masih lagi berlarutan.. siapa aku sebenarnya pada kamu.... aku tahu, jika aku masuk dalam derita itu, aku tau aku akan jauh mengganas dari biasa, siapa aku sebenarnya pada kamu?

kalau kamu tahu perasaan aku, apa yang aku rasa sekarang, mungkin kamu akan buat lagi menderita, aku tahu, siapa aku... kamu tidak...

susah aku membenci.. sebab aku tiada hak membenci, sekali ku benci, tidak akan berbaik lagi..

cubalah kamu mengerti, kalau kamu buat begitu, begini akan terjadi... bukan diluar, tapi dalam hati aku....

sakit ....


entahlah...

dear blog...

Why I always had this feeling??? Loving someone without knowing what the consequences will come out in a future? I Know the answer will be the same as well to my past situation, I know, nobody will took me as part of their life, as well to fill their heart with feeling to love me, I know it will harm myself due to what have been wrote to my destiny, and many things around my head, just like the bird flew against the wall.

Most of the human out there, got their own soul partner, just a simple as snap, you snap it, and you got it. But for me, snap for hundreds times, its only hurting myself.

I know, motivation has to build up through my feeling, I know, beside on waiting somebody to love me, there’s a lot of people already love me by looking who I really am. I know, what bad think happen, there’s a good thing will come out to.

What I want to do right now, try to give it all the way. Do I have that courage? I don’t know… perhaps, it won’t show.

I’ll try to believe in myself; someday one of them will miss me as what I miss all about them right now. Because of what I attempt to do, enjoy with all of them who love as my guidance, as friends, as the citizen.

Love you as I always do.

do you have a monkey crush experience???

i do.... long time i havent post anything...busy with "latest season' of my degree.. 1 more semester to go.... kejap nyer....

back to the topic, i always had this... "dia tgk aku ker?"., "aku ni sape la dia nk tgk aku..".... like my direct "percakapan" of my friends said that iam fat..... ( sedihnyer ..sigh)....layak ker dilihat ..or dia fikir, "hodohnya makhluk ni.."....

whatever it is, ill be myself, no such things can make me to change everything...

am i this jerk or what, who cares...!!

tak tau nak kata apa lagi....cheaww....!! mwaaaxxx....

todays feeling!

ok, first of all.,its Christmas! for those who celebrate, felis nevidad to you.. I'm really sorry to my friends, veronica, cant be there at your home rite now, for celebrate it.. busy bees comes around me, my mom took a christmas catering, so from morning until now, cooks all the times..hehe

today, i will fly back to shah alam, again.. using AirAsia.., (proud to have it)..hehe...

my flight will be at 8.25pm., having a slidely changes.., suppose to be at 7.45pm...i dont know why...

nevermind, as long as I arrived savely, its ok...

okay...thats it for the post.. maybe not having "A Networking" for the coming next week.. Ive got no broadband at all, and no wireless around my living area.sigh*.... taraaaa!~

clear my eyes.....

clairement mes yeux
pour voir exactement ce qui à vos yeux
j'ai trouvé quelque chose dans le vôtre
mais les choses ne me rend pas heureux
pendant que vous y étiez
essayez de sortir votre mot à dire
J'ai toujours être prêt
sur ce que vous avez fait pour moi

meaning....

clear my eyes
to see what exactly in your eyes
i found something in yours
but the things doesn't make me happy
while you were there
try to pull out your say
i always be ready
on what you've made it for me

post in Bahasa Malaysia campur....sorry..

jam 2.30am. 20.disember.2009
.microsoft word.

seminggu lagi aku akan terbang, pgi shah alam....blik, mesti rumah sewa skang bebau...mgkin sbb refrigerator., sampah tdk buang,.. haish...*

tdk tau lagi mau tggl tmpt si bigak or not, sbb macam malas pla...lagipun mau seja smpi rumah tu, and buat segala apa yang patut, kemas...

bila fikir-fikir balik, lama juga aku cuti ni, 1 1/2 buln... wow....tp yg memilukan, tidk jumpa pla....

malas la mau fikir lagi pasal dia,... geram pun ada... nasib baik ada kawan2 yang buat happy, got family yang tau apa erti enjoy.. i enjoy myself skang klu di rumah...

kalau di kira berapa kali jalan2 sama kawan, mgkin lgi bnyk dri dulu, hehe....

terimas segalanya utk kawan2 yg sponsor kenderaan, sponsor gelak ketawa, sponsor cerita, tanpa tu semua, tdk bermakna la juga cuti ku ini...

walaupun ada kesedihan lain menimpa, dri segi pembelajran, exam result, suckss...!

pasal tu lagi, pasal dia lagi, bru ja aku fikir, napa la aku perlu ada perasaan mcm ni.. patut la rambut gugur,LOL...

tapi think from the brightside, kalau la aku tidak fikir mcm tu, mgkin aku tdk kenal erti tangisan, syahdu, pengalaman pahit, walaupun semua ni orang tdk nampak.., biar diri sendiri saja, yang tau aku ni mcm mana....

i know, lots people wil drag me into kind of " normality"., like my best friends said,( kalau ko baca, ko mesti senyum heheheh), tu hanya "feeling kita", kita tdk bole halang, yang penting jangan langkah besar sehingga lupa diri...(ni aku punya kata)...hehe

biar la...( balik2 aku ckp bnda tu)..., tp bila sampai aku berangan( mcm kata sorang kawan tu), mula la tetes air mata ini jatuh smpi ke lubang telinga, sbb aku baring klu nangis...huhuhu

ooppsss... aku nangis, sbb apa?? bnyk perkara.... bkn pasal dia ja., bnyykkkkkkk..!!....emo yang amat sangt...


tapi apa bole buat, kegembiraan datang dari hati yang tulus ikhlas membuat sesuatu, jangan mengharap pembalasan., hanya senyum dan tarik nafas... tapi....

masih lagi aku rasa kesedihan membelenggu...

apa boleh buat, manusia,... aku hanya manusia biasa, punya perasaan yang berlainan dari makhluk lain... mungkin ada yang sama, tapi sedikit kelainan...

apa yang aku mengarut2 ni, ntah la... ni kali sekadar memenuhi syarat blogger... post some headline...

i know, this kind of boring thing that comes out from what ive taught about.., learning from the experience...

bosan punya kerja....

moey..

boSan....

miss you....

lonely calling me tonight
surround by the soft melody
of a song that linger through my ear
tears fall down to my cheek..

afraid it will not coming back
by the grief that i always said
by the drops that i never collect
but its hard to make it stop...

hope something will called the history
the smile that i always put on me
the tears that you always see

someday...:(

tikus ku

i know this will happen to me....

felt annoyed by some others human that live nearest to my 'convenience', just make me piss of... i don't know whose I'm going to express this feeling, only dropping a words here....it makes me feel better..

"why people judge on the physical attraction? darling, it a mother nature...."

whatever...

some of people out there try to kill on what i felt before to some other called as 'subject', made my trust and honored to them goes to zero...

what comes from my mouth, become a manipulation for them to get what they really want. every time i spell out, lead them to do something out of so called 'friendship relationship'...

that's why i never trust nobody.

only, a few people i love, trust, being honored to be my friends, family, and a good citizen...

you know who...

little hurt expression comes from a heart....:(