do you have a monkey crush experience???

i do.... long time i havent post anything...busy with "latest season' of my degree.. 1 more semester to go.... kejap nyer....

back to the topic, i always had this... "dia tgk aku ker?"., "aku ni sape la dia nk tgk aku..".... like my direct "percakapan" of my friends said that iam fat..... ( sedihnyer ..sigh)....layak ker dilihat ..or dia fikir, "hodohnya makhluk ni.."....

whatever it is, ill be myself, no such things can make me to change everything...

am i this jerk or what, who cares...!!

tak tau nak kata apa lagi....cheaww....!! mwaaaxxx....

todays feeling!

ok, first of all.,its Christmas! for those who celebrate, felis nevidad to you.. I'm really sorry to my friends, veronica, cant be there at your home rite now, for celebrate it.. busy bees comes around me, my mom took a christmas catering, so from morning until now, cooks all the times..hehe

today, i will fly back to shah alam, again.. using AirAsia.., (proud to have it)..hehe...

my flight will be at 8.25pm., having a slidely changes.., suppose to be at 7.45pm...i dont know why...

nevermind, as long as I arrived savely, its ok...

okay...thats it for the post.. maybe not having "A Networking" for the coming next week.. Ive got no broadband at all, and no wireless around my living area.sigh*.... taraaaa!~

clear my eyes.....

clairement mes yeux
pour voir exactement ce qui à vos yeux
j'ai trouvé quelque chose dans le vôtre
mais les choses ne me rend pas heureux
pendant que vous y étiez
essayez de sortir votre mot à dire
J'ai toujours être prêt
sur ce que vous avez fait pour moi

meaning....

clear my eyes
to see what exactly in your eyes
i found something in yours
but the things doesn't make me happy
while you were there
try to pull out your say
i always be ready
on what you've made it for me

post in Bahasa Malaysia campur....sorry..

jam 2.30am. 20.disember.2009
.microsoft word.

seminggu lagi aku akan terbang, pgi shah alam....blik, mesti rumah sewa skang bebau...mgkin sbb refrigerator., sampah tdk buang,.. haish...*

tdk tau lagi mau tggl tmpt si bigak or not, sbb macam malas pla...lagipun mau seja smpi rumah tu, and buat segala apa yang patut, kemas...

bila fikir-fikir balik, lama juga aku cuti ni, 1 1/2 buln... wow....tp yg memilukan, tidk jumpa pla....

malas la mau fikir lagi pasal dia,... geram pun ada... nasib baik ada kawan2 yang buat happy, got family yang tau apa erti enjoy.. i enjoy myself skang klu di rumah...

kalau di kira berapa kali jalan2 sama kawan, mgkin lgi bnyk dri dulu, hehe....

terimas segalanya utk kawan2 yg sponsor kenderaan, sponsor gelak ketawa, sponsor cerita, tanpa tu semua, tdk bermakna la juga cuti ku ini...

walaupun ada kesedihan lain menimpa, dri segi pembelajran, exam result, suckss...!

pasal tu lagi, pasal dia lagi, bru ja aku fikir, napa la aku perlu ada perasaan mcm ni.. patut la rambut gugur,LOL...

tapi think from the brightside, kalau la aku tidak fikir mcm tu, mgkin aku tdk kenal erti tangisan, syahdu, pengalaman pahit, walaupun semua ni orang tdk nampak.., biar diri sendiri saja, yang tau aku ni mcm mana....

i know, lots people wil drag me into kind of " normality"., like my best friends said,( kalau ko baca, ko mesti senyum heheheh), tu hanya "feeling kita", kita tdk bole halang, yang penting jangan langkah besar sehingga lupa diri...(ni aku punya kata)...hehe

biar la...( balik2 aku ckp bnda tu)..., tp bila sampai aku berangan( mcm kata sorang kawan tu), mula la tetes air mata ini jatuh smpi ke lubang telinga, sbb aku baring klu nangis...huhuhu

ooppsss... aku nangis, sbb apa?? bnyk perkara.... bkn pasal dia ja., bnyykkkkkkk..!!....emo yang amat sangt...


tapi apa bole buat, kegembiraan datang dari hati yang tulus ikhlas membuat sesuatu, jangan mengharap pembalasan., hanya senyum dan tarik nafas... tapi....

masih lagi aku rasa kesedihan membelenggu...

apa boleh buat, manusia,... aku hanya manusia biasa, punya perasaan yang berlainan dari makhluk lain... mungkin ada yang sama, tapi sedikit kelainan...

apa yang aku mengarut2 ni, ntah la... ni kali sekadar memenuhi syarat blogger... post some headline...

i know, this kind of boring thing that comes out from what ive taught about.., learning from the experience...

bosan punya kerja....

moey..

boSan....

miss you....

lonely calling me tonight
surround by the soft melody
of a song that linger through my ear
tears fall down to my cheek..

afraid it will not coming back
by the grief that i always said
by the drops that i never collect
but its hard to make it stop...

hope something will called the history
the smile that i always put on me
the tears that you always see

someday...:(

tikus ku

i know this will happen to me....

felt annoyed by some others human that live nearest to my 'convenience', just make me piss of... i don't know whose I'm going to express this feeling, only dropping a words here....it makes me feel better..

"why people judge on the physical attraction? darling, it a mother nature...."

whatever...

some of people out there try to kill on what i felt before to some other called as 'subject', made my trust and honored to them goes to zero...

what comes from my mouth, become a manipulation for them to get what they really want. every time i spell out, lead them to do something out of so called 'friendship relationship'...

that's why i never trust nobody.

only, a few people i love, trust, being honored to be my friends, family, and a good citizen...

you know who...

little hurt expression comes from a heart....:(

I dont want to be a friends!!

rararararara,......hehehe..something hidden of meaning in the songs of lady gaga, bad romance...sigh,,..*

mari kita ketawa!!!!

ingat waktu kecil......hehehehehe

hurt so much.....:(

a long time to 'hibernated' here in my own home at sandakan...just get back from shah alam yesterday... im sorry, a 'busy bee' always do its job, to make my situation un-systemated, dont have times to put a words in here..now, got time, got story, got everything ....

after the extremely hardest part of my courses, for this semester, really bad to call it as a manipulator for higher CGPA,arggh.. doesnt make any proud things to called as a best graders... my though...but i always try my best, (typical word....sigh*)

but the thing that i hate bout my attribute for this life, especially my 6 months trial for this semester, i didnt attend for the CTU paper....adduuss...., never mind, anything has the reason...Only God knows why....

while im here, at my hometown, the first thought came out when i was landed, just to find my mom and hug her, definitely im missing her so much.....second my dad,..and the rest would be my family...duhh...

but the most highest level on my thinking was a person who really make my heart and brain wrote h** name on my imagination, i dont know,....just h** running the engine of my feeling, never written on any other names....just h**,....thats the reason why i came back..but not to meet h**, just to feel near, thats it..

people especially friends, thought that i was crazy by waiting on the reply of h** love....i always put myself to step on the reality, never put myself into fantasy, i know that...but feelings cannot remain normal as people out there, trying to change and just it,...

sad song always flew its melody, lingering to my ears, playing the love song, never against on it, cos i know it will heal my heart,.when i cry, it make me feel better...yaa, and i know, cry will not put h** to be stand in front of me feel the same way to,it will not happen..

but ill pray for h**, with all my heart, hope everything h* do, every path of h** life will be better without me by h** side....

love you....